TWELVE DAYS OF CHRISTMAS SHOPPING AT
JAY’S MALL
WHERE THERE’S ALWAYS A WAY FOR YOU TO SAVE A DOLLAR
AND JAY TO MAKE ONE.
(Where there’s plenty of free parking and some of it’s paved)
On the 1st day of Christmas, I found…
One parking spot…unpaved
On the 2nd day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S GOURMET FOOD BOUTIQUE
2 BIG MAMA LONG-LASTING STEEL WOOL WAFFLES
They don’t taste that great,
but they last a long time,
you get a lot of roughage,
and they don’t soak up all your syrup.
On the 3rd day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S HARDWARE BOUTIQUE
3 Tubes of TASTY PASTY LINOLEUM PASTE AND DENTURE ADHESIVE
In refreshing mint or cherry flavors.
On the 4th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S APPLIANCE BOUTIQUE
4 ALL-NEW BIG MAMA ELECTRIC CARVING CLEAVERS,
You can cut four loaves of bread at once! With each cleaver!
(I’m gonna leave her a four-loaf cleaver.)
On the 5th day of Chrismas, I found…
JAY’S USED PET SHOP
Where they have some loving and unusual pets
that, for one reason or another, just didn’t work out
for their previous owners, but the price is right…
nothing above $25.00
5 Bats with Bifocals
On the 6th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S NEWSPAPER COMPANY
6-year subscription to
“JAY’S CRISPY CHRONICLE”
The only newspaper
printed on plastic wrap,
for folks who want to see each other,
when they read at the Breakfast table.
On the 7th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S LOUNGE
HAPPY HOUR SPECIAL
7 Bermuda Cocktails
Drink all 7 and your breath comes out in short pants.
On the 8th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S PHARMACY
JAY’S ELEPHANT OIL SUNTAN LOTION FOR MEN
8 Bottles to cover the big man.
It protects from the sun’s harmful rays.
It also keeps his trunks up.
On the 9th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S HAIRSTYLING SALON
9 Scalp Treatments with FLAKO
The low-calorie dandruff shampoo for fatheats.
On the 10th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S BOOK STORE
“10 Easy Ways to Sew on a Belly Button”
On the 11th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S TRAVEL AGENCY
11 Bus Tours
Meet the drivers, marvel at the “Elvis” stain in bus #3
On the 12th day of Christmas, I found…
JAY’S SPORTS BOUTIQUE
12 Tate Cheap Compass Company Compasses
The Field and Scream Model
Remember their motto:
“He who has a Tate’s is lost.”